Discernment isn’t automatic. It’s a posture, a practice, and a product of intimacy with God. When it comes to
dating, discernment helps protect your peace, preserve your purpose, and prepare you for God’s best. Here
are five devotional reflections to help you grow in wisdom and clarity in your dating life.
1. Stay Close to the Word
Discernment begins with knowing what God says. If you’re not in the Word, your emotions will lead you
before the Holy Spirit does. The more you align your mind with Scripture, the sharper your spiritual compass
becomes. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” – Psalm 119:105
Reading the Bible regularly teaches you what love really looks like, how to recognize spiritual fruit, and how
to build your life on truth-not just feelings.
2. Submit to Wise Counsel
Invite mentors, pastors, and spiritually mature friends into your process. They see what love-blind eyes miss.
Wise counsel can spot red flags, affirm what’s from God, and help hold you accountable to the standards
you’ve set.
“Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance.” – Proverbs 20:18
God often speaks through the people who love Him and love you. Don’t walk alone-walk covered.
3. Watch for Consistency Over Time
Anyone can impress you in the beginning. But discernment waits. It watches. It examines patterns. It asks:
Does their walk match their talk? Are they still patient, kind, and godly when things get hard?
“By their fruit you will recognize them.” – Matthew 7:16
Discernment helps you move slowly enough to see the truth clearly-because time always reveals what charm
can hide.
4. Check the Fruit, Not Just the Feeling
Feelings can be powerful, but fruit is what God looks for. You can’t fake spiritual fruit-over time, it either grows
or it doesn’t. Ask yourself: Do they show evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in their life?
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and
self-control.” – Galatians 5:22-23
Check the fruit-and check your own. Healthy love produces peace, clarity, and growth in both people.
5. Listen to the Holy Spirit-Not Just Your Heart
Your heart is beautiful, but it can be deceptive when left unchecked. That’s why your greatest guide in dating
is not your feelings-it’s the Holy Spirit.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9
The Spirit will convict, warn, and guide-but your job is to listen. Peace is one of His clearest ways of
speaking. If your peace is missing, don’t ignore it.
